Your Mom is so ugly...

• Your Mom is so ugly she walked into Taco Bell and everyone headed for the boarder.
• Your Mom is so ugly when she looks in the mirror her reflection ducks.
• Your Mom is so ugly when she applied for a drivers license in California, they gave her an Oregon one instead.
• Your Mom is so ugly people mistake her for your father.
• Your Mom is so ugly that when she was a baby they had to tint the windows on the incubator.
• Your Mom is so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.
• Your Mom is so ugly she goes to beach and the ocean won't even wave at her.
• Your mom is so ugly she went into a Haunted House and came out with a job application.
• Your Mom is so ugly when robbers broke in and she yelled, "Rape!" they yelled, "No!"
• Your Mom is so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.
• Your Mom is so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her.
• Your Mom is so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras.
• Your Mom is so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.
• Your Mom is so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck.
• Your Mom is so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.
• Your Mom is so ugly when she went to enter an ugly contest, they said, "Sorry, no professionals."
• Your Mom is so ugly last night I saw her face on Wild Kingdom.
• Your Mom is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
• Your Mom is so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out.
• Your Mom is so ugly she turned Medusa to stone.
• Your Mom is so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.
• Your Mom is so ugly for Halloween she has to Trick or Treat over the phone.
• Your Mom is so ugly her Rice Krispies won't even talk to her.
• Your Mom is so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote.
• Your Mom is so ugly she made an onion cry.