Your Mom is so fat...

• Your Mom is so fat she could sell shade during the summer.
• Your Mom is so fat when she get a cut, she bleeds milkshakes
• Your Mom is so fat she walked by the tv and I missed three episodes.
• Your Mom is so fat she whistles bass.
• Your Mom is so fat she's the only one at the beach who gets a tan.
• Your Mom is so fat she pays taxes in three different countries.
• Your Mom is so fat she needs a lifeguard for her cereal bowl.
• Your Mom is so fat she violates 17 different zoning laws
• Your Mom is so fat she can seat a family of six.
• Your Mom is so fat she can walk around the world in three steps.
• Your Mom is so fat if she were overthrown by a small militia, she'd be known as The Republic of Your Mom.
• Your Mom is so fat that after having a dream about marshmallows, she woke up and her pillows were gone.
• Your Mom is so fat when she plays hop scotch she goes B.C, Edmonton, Toronto, Qubec...
• Your Mom is so fat that the local restaurant has a sign stating: Maximum Occupancy - 45 People or Your Mom.
• Your Mom is so fat that after sex she smokes a ham.
• Your Mom is so fat we're in her right now.
• Your Mom is so fat that she has to wake up in sections.
• Your Mom is so fat when she rolls over in bed she burns her ass on the light bulb.
• Your Mom is so fat when she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
• Your Mom is so fat that when she ran away they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
• Your Mom is so fat she has to iron her clothes in the drive way.
• Your Mom is so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
• Your Mom is so fat she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
• Your Mom is so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
• Your Mom is so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
• Your Mom is so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of George Washington's nose.
• Your Mom is so fat she's got her own area code.
• Your Mom is so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book.
• Your Mom is so fat that her senior pictures had to be an arial view.
• Your Mom is so fat she's on both sides of the family.
• Your Mom is so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER.
• Your Mom is so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
• Your Mom is so fat people jog around her for exercise.
• Your Mom is so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
• Your Mom is so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
• Your Mom is so fat she fell in love and broke it.
• Your Mom is so fat when she goes to a resturant, she takes one look at the menu and says, "Okay!"
• Your Mom is so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
• Your Mom is so fat when she steps on a scale it reads, "One at a time, please."
• Your Mom is so fat when she steps on a scale it reads, "To be continued..."
• Your Mom is so fat when she steps on a scale it reads, "We don't do livestock."
• Your Mom is so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized.
• Your Mom is so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
• Your Mom is so fat the last time she layed on the beach, Greenpeace showed up and tried to push her back into the water.
• Your Mom is so fat she uses Redwoods to pick her teeth.
• Your Mom is so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts.
• Your Mom is so fat when she broke her leg, gravy poured out.
• Your Mom is so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.